Say Uncle

It's Friday night in the big city and I have plans. These are not my normal Friday night plans which usually consist of either a)falling asleep after too much internet surfing, blogging, emailing in bed with the dogs or b)same scenario but add wine and maybe a good book. Ok, that's kind of a like since the last month and a half has been slightly abnormal due to Maggie's impending departure and my new and exciting dating schedule. Tonight I had plans for the latter. Fernando has asked me to join him on the UES (Upper East Side for non-New Yorkers)to play pool with some of his friends. While I'm flattered that he likes me enough to introduce me to his friends, I am a bit nervous because friends can have a lot of influence when it comes to dating. In general, we all know that if the friends hate you, its pretty much not going to go anywhere. Not that I am concerned with people hating me, I think I have, for the most part, a fairly pleasant disposition. I still worry anyway because I am a chick and that's what we do. I can only be myself and hope that people like me for who I am. And if they don't like me, they must have some serious mental problems :). If I pretend to be someone I am not, then eventually the "real" me would be discovered anyway! Personally, I happen to like the real me, and so should everyone else dammit.

So, I meet up with Fernando after trekking through what seems like a monsoon during the middle of winter. I feel like a wet dog when I get to the bar and proceed to have to take my socks off because they are wet. I know, sexy. Shortly thereafter, I meet his friend, who I will call Vince just because I want to be an ass and I know it will probably annoy him. You see, he kinda looks like Vince Vaughn and has heard it probably 1,000 times. I, of course, didn't refrain from pointing it out about 5 minutes after I met him, to which he responded that he normally "gets Morgan Freeman".

Another friend shows up a little later but has a nickname I can't remember. Damn me and my crappy memory. I remember he was Polish - does that count? Just for shits and giggles, let's call him ... HOLD PLEASE, I hate to break up this whole rambling but there is a guy on TV playing a harmonica with his nose. I know most of you know that I don't have TV service at home, so I should preface this with the fact that I am an unwilling viewer today on an airplane and have been subjected to this. I WOULD NOT have willfully chosen this show. Ok, back to story... the story was mostly about Fernando liking me enough to introduce me to his friends, which made me feel all warm and fuzzy inside (it was either that or the jager shots that kept mysteriously appearing). So this is a nice little story but really not that interesting UNTIL....

Our waitress was a cute girl - probably about 22 or something, and looked kinda like Amanda Peet. She was a nice girl. A few hours into the evening, she came by to take the credit card for the bill and Fernando paid. She comes back and starts a whole conversation about his name on his credit card. I won't claim to have the best recollection of the conversation but it went something like this:

Amanda: So, how did you get a name like this?
Then Fernando tells a story about his family history... My great grandfather..blah blah..met so and so and yada yada yada.. "Then they moved to Woodlawn".
Amanda: Really!? Woodlawn?! My family is from there!

At this point, I am thinking, where is she going with this? It really seems to me that she is hitting on him, yet she knows he came in with me. Hmmm. Slight tinge of jealously toward the young cute girl. But, then the clincher comes.

Amanda: If your family lives in Woodlawn, then I'll bet you probably know my Uncle (insinuating that they are the same age).

At that point, I start laughing and promptly turn around and walk away. Vince does the same. I was told that the waitress turned around and left about 5 seconds later - probably after realizing what she had done. Poor Fernando was left there shocked and alone. Don't worry, Vince and I returned a few minutes later from our respective hide-outs.

As a side note, apparently I had met Vince before at the Christmas party where I met Fernando, but I have such a bad memory that I had no idea and acted like it was my first time meeting him. Great first impressions.

Note to all of my friends: If I ever do stupid stuff like this (i.e. forget I met people, forget to introduce you to people, forget to offer you a beverage or food when you come to my house, and the list goes on) please remember that I REALLY am not trying to be rude...I just forget these little social things sometimes. Please don't hold it against me.